Fakin' It

I'll admit, as probably most ladies have, that I've faked it a few times. Sometimes it's just too much effort to see it through to the end, y'know, or it's really just not an on night. Yesterday's lunch had me craving Indian, but not with enough energy to go out pursuing it, largely fueled by a fridge shelf full of leftover odds 'n ends. So I faked it, fusion-style.

Fake sauce
1/2 c veggie medley bisque
1/2 c tomato/roasted pepper soup
1 heaping Tbsp coconut milk
1 scant Tbsp curry powder
pinch garlic powder
pinch coriander
pinch red pepper flakes
mango sausage
steamed cauliflower & broccoli
flat bread

If needed, reheat your sausage and steamed veggies until hot. Toast or warm bread if desired. Slice sausage into coins. Mix other ingredients in a small bowl and heat. Dump over veggies, bread, and sausage. Mm-hmm, fakin' it has never felt so good.



Fake French by Le Tigre

Don't bring me down

I suspect that my neighbor across the street doubts the consistency of gravity. Just now he stood out on his stoop and took handfuls of something from a large plastic jar, threw them in the air, and watched the bits fall to the ground. He repeated this a few times. I think he was satisfied with this confirmation that indeed, gravity was still working, because he retreated back into his sketchy little apartment.



Don't Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra

Responsible citizen

I'm actually a little excited to be serving as a juror for a case and being able to be involved in The System, but goshdarnit, why does it have to fall across my weekend?! Thank goodness for apple pie and Au: better living through nummistry.

Sum by Au

Tonight I am experimenting again with almond butter cookies (peanut butter cookies - peanut butter + almond butter + almond meal = yum) but plan to make them into sandwich cookies. I might try two flavors: chocolate filling and lemon filling. Or ginger? Does ginger go well with almond? I guess we'll find out.

Ok, pull out your lovers, here's another one:

Boute by Au

Possible Ventures

How much easier it would be to experiment with food if most of it disappeared after I'd had a few bites and shared a few more and all my supplies spontaneously replenished themselves. List of things to try:

• Almond butter cookies sandwiched with a chocolate ginger or citrus cream filling and more flour in the cookie dough
• Pie babies with a jam filling
• Something made with almond paste/marzipan/frangipane
• Brown sugar cake in my best darn imitation of Paley's Place (mmmmmmmmm)
• A science-themed multi-course dinner involving dry ice, thermos glassware, sodium alginate, black pepper extract/crystals, etc.
• Breakfast Party #2! and not revisit anything I made for #1
• Cooking meat (I mean really preparing and cooking, not my usual half-hearted sautéeing crap)
• Better vegan treats
• Fancy pastries
  
• Candy making
• Gingerbread made with honey to replace molasses and sugar
• A new recipe from each of my cookbooks, excluding my #1 ladies Betty Crocker & Fannie Farmer

I should clarify the last item to "and excluding skinning or killing any animals per the Joy of Cooking" since I think I could go my entire life without ever having to make soup from any future children's pet turtles or skinning a beaver. Currently I'm in Kansas city visiting maternal relatives. I have never missed fresh produce and foods without cheese sauce and an excess of salt so much!

Easy as 1 2 3

Many months ago, a possibly drunk, possibly stoned fellow told me this recipe for quiche. I served it at my breakfast party in December, and it was awesome! I think "breakfast party" might be the best party I've ever had, since, as I've said before, breakfast is THE best meal for which to cook or go out.

3-2-1 Quiche
serves 3-4
3 large eggs (the bigger, the better)
2c shredded cheese (I use 2 handfuls, 2c is too much for me!)
1c sour cream
black pepper
other spices to taste
your favorite quiche veggies and/or meats

Whip the eggs with the sour cream until well blended, then mix in cheese, spices, and add-ins. (My favorite seasoning is "Italian Grinder." Cheating, yes, but it has rosemary, garlic, sea salt, black pepper, rosemary, basil, oregano, etc. Very tasty in everything, but only worth buying if on sale.) Crust is optional; make or buy your favorite kind. If no crust, grease a 8" pie dish. Pour quiche mix into pan and place in an oven preheated to 425°F. Bake for 15 minutes, then lower to 300°F and check every 15 minutes or so until a bamboo skewer comes out clean. Let cool for ~15 minutes before cutting and serving. This firms up faster than a traditional (= when I make it with soy milk) quiche due to less liquid.

It's important to note that this fellow did not give me any specifications for cooking the quiche; I'm following the baking directions for "Quiche Lorraine" from Betty Crocker's 40th Anniversary Edition Cookbook. I have a 3-2-1 quiche made with broccoli baking right now (thanks to an uncharacteristic lack of vegetable variety) and the smell coming from the oven makes my stomach want to digest itself. Unfortunately, I decided to skip the crust; too bad, since quiche crust is one of my favorite things to eat.

Damn kids, stay out of Maillard

The Maillard reaction is one of my favorite chemical reactions, and it is probably one of yours too. "Mail-lard?" you ask, apprehensively. Yes, ducky, but please, start drooling because you'll want a head start.

At its finest, the Maillard reaction is the reaction between an amino acid and a reducing sugar (it gets oxidized to help something reduce, so losing electrons; examples include glucose and lactose), catalyzed by heat. (Amino acids make up the proteins in our bodies. They are delicious. Evidence: Bragg's liquid aminos as well as many kinds of meats and other protein sources.) Beyond all the organic chemistry involved, it is a reaction that you probably do often and in great quantities, every time you make toast or fry meat. It is why roasted and seared meat tastes better than boiled meat: boiling water is too cold to kickstart this reaction. The products of these reaction are a variety of molecules that smell and taste great, making food delicious. Each amino acid-sugar combination creates a different flavor, too, meaning that an exclusive and pure reaction between a specific amino acid and sugar yields a particular deliciousness that the food industry is all over.

Given the wonder that is the Maillard (which until now I have been mispronouncing as "My-yard, hence the not quite so funny now post title), that is why the following is scientifically delicious and not Ebeth collapsing into some kind of college/fratboy/stoner cooking creative genius.


Sautéed toast
discovered when a piece of toast to be fried dissolved in my hand

Heat a saucepan over medium-high heat. Obtain two pieces of tasty bread per serving. I recommend Trader Joe's oat bran bread; the effect of the Maillard on the dense crumb is delightful! You can then proceed to do one of two things: attempt to butter both sides of the bread with cold hard margarine, effectively ending up with a buttery pile of shredded bread as the slice breaks apart in your hand, OR cut or tear the slices of bread into bite-sized pieces and melt a large hunk of margarine in the pan. ("Texas toast?" you wonder nervously. Yes, wonderfood of diners everywhere.) Dump your bread chunks into the pan, listening for that sizzling noise that reminds you that the Maillard reaction is about to begin, if it hasn't already. Push the bread chunks around in the pan with some kinds of tool, flipping occasionally just like you would sautée vegetables, until the bread is toasted to a nice golden-brown color on all sides. Enjoy!

Although I haven't tried it, I speculate that this would be mighty tasty with heavy cream, jam, cinnamon, fruit, cheese, or other nummy condiments.

What I did tonight

These signs are around Portland:


And man, they are not kidding. Fortunately, it being wintertime, I was well-covered and only seem to have hurt my right palm/wrist (bruising?), bruised a thigh, and scraped up my knee a little. It did not make for pleasant and repeated handshaking at the venue walk-through to which I was commuting.

Secretly, I was hoping for more visible damage to show of for the Naked Ladies this weekend.

I could cook dinner for you

But I'd rather make you breakfast. Wink.

Breakfast is my favorite meal to cook or go out for. Breakfast food is naturally comforting, and long, leisurely Sunday morning breakfasts are one of my fondest family-food-memories.



I actually had this for lunch--almost dinner--but who cares? Porridge was always a weird idea to me until Mom Chau started making congee for us in Walla Walla. Unlike the unappetizing images that Goldilocks and the Three Bears conjures, porridge is leftover grains simmered with excess water (or other liquids) until it reaches a thick consistency and the already-cooked grains have absorbed a lot of the liquid. Think more like oatmeal than gruel. Congee is usually a savory rice porridge, but here I make a sweet version using coconut milk and various fruits. Inspired by a recipe in the cookbook The Vegan Gourmet by Susann Geiskopf-Hadler and Mindy Toomay.


Sweet Rice Porridge
Makes about 2 servings

2 1/2c leftover cooked rice (I used long grain, short grain will also be ok)
1 c soymilk
1 c water
1/2 c coconut milk
dash of salt

Bring this to a boil then reduce to a simmer. Stir occasionally to disperse liquid and scrape rice off of the sides and bottoms of pan to prevent browning. Continue to simmer until most all of the liquid has been absorbed, then remove from the heat.

Stir in:
Two dollops of ginger syrup (or substitute)
Two dashes of cinnamon
2 Tbsp brown sugar
(or whatever sweetners you like, to taste)

Divide into two bowls and top each other with a quarter pomegranate's worth of seeds, about a thawed half cup of those blueberries you picked out in Redland last summer, one half of a chopped ripe pear, and a handful of toasted walnuts. Yum!



I used a pomegranate that has been sitting around for a couple weeks. This skin was no longer smooth and shiny, but rather rough. The fruit, however, was exceedingly delicious, far moreso than that of other pomegranates I've eaten this season. Less tart and more sweet and full. Woo sugars!

PS--Prior to eating, I divided a package of snapper to wrap for freezing, and didn't quite get all the smell off of my hands. As I was eating the porridge, I was amazed at how similar the taste of slightly burned toasted walnuts was to raw snapper, which is a rather pungent scent. Just now, the smell has faded to something more like jasmine green tea. Score one for esters!

in which our heroine

My hair smells like good clean boy. I don't have and haven't been rolling around with a good clean boy, but my hair smells like it. Strange how smell can have such a strong effect on our associations and memories--all it really is is a molecule or several fitting into some fancy receptors and triggering some kind of synapse pathway leading to memory. (I'm guessing; no actual research done here. I figure your nose if like your tongue, just a lot less... well, I guess measures of fun are subjective.)

Earlier today I was remembering very distinctly the smell of the old video store that used to be at the bottom of the cliff in Oregon City and trying to pinpoint the separate elements--stale popcorn, hot plastic, subtly old smoke, repaired TVs... I should have been working on writing instead of rememorying, c'est la vie.

Ok, all of that was really just to throw in some science to justify blogging about new haircut!

Before, notice how the rain from biking around last night has made it all very wispy, curly, buoyant, romantic, feminine, very much like all those damn cream puffs she's been baking. I would make a nice dinner and then cuddle with her, wouldn't you?


After, a little more flash, a little more dominance, this girl is more likely to throw a silly dance move your way and toss a wink as she licks the chocolate off of the puff than snuggle up with some hot chocolate and an old movie (not that she wouldn't want to).

(It has product in it that smells like Nice Clean Boy smell. Mmm...)


Odwalla's PomeGrand juice is really great when you reduce to about half-volume with an hour of good simmering and more than a few dashes of sugar. Mmm, PomeGrand syrup. Do not ingest if allergic!

brest dessert ever

Flaunting: Although my desserts have aways met with applause (or maybe mumbles of pleasure through crumb-filled mouths), I've been meaning to challenge myself by stepping up and attempting pastries, since most of my recipes center around solid American baked fare: cakes, pies, cookies, etc. I took initiative and acquired an inexpensive pastry book ("both sweet and savory!"). In the ongoing epic that is my growing knowledge of Jewish cultural events, I was invited to a pomegranate-themed Shabbat dinner this past week. I waffled about what to make and was about to settle for some variation of vegan cupcakes but decided to step up to the challenge (threat?) of French pastries.

I was not successful.

Not by my standards, at least.

But it came out awesome! I made a Gâteau Paris-Brest (ha ha, Brest), which is essentially a giant ring-shaped cream puff pastry filled with pastry cream and topped with sliced almonds. I added pomegranate seeds to the pastry cream and reduced pomegranate juice with additional sugar to make a (not thick enough, perhaps needed more sugar to make a syrup?) sauce. The creamy sweetness was complimented wonderfully by the tangy sauce and crunchy seeds. Here is a piece, two days later:



There is also a piece of King's Galette (I think?) hiding behind the gâteau, courtesy of Housemate Emily.

I don't think it was at the high temperature for long enough to form the hard pastry that resists deflation upon cooling. I also forgot to vent the oven during that time, which is supposed to help the steam escape, but once done may have also cooled the oven (it's an old oven) and prevented the gâteau from getting to the correct temperature. I was under the impression that I was in a rush, so rather then let it bake longer, I just let it cool and scooped out the still-moist bits. I made a double batch of pastry cream (good, since a lot of the cream boiled over, all over the stove), but next time I may even attempt a triple, since I think the cake could use more. I'd be interested to try this with all sorts of other fruits or chocolate, and it's boosted my confidence in branching out.

Needles to say, there were many breast jokes made during dessert. Even more needless to say, most of them came from me. Way to be mature, Ebeth, way to be mature.